October

tik - tok an brok 'n shudder Twisting 'round a shatter'd rudder Hale and party to the glass Sits me down upon my ass Mind is swirl'd like chocolate cake Words unfinished have gone to bake A healthy man would sure do more with my mind's defeating roar A broek soul'd mark upon my chest I live a life assur'dly blest For from a word divinely spoken On my brain a little brok'n I shake it out and stand again And try to reach for word and pen But fog and cloud are stopping me From my thoughts and sanity Dazed brown eyes are haz-ed here Grasping words that won't come near The poem's heart torn hard asunder With ragged lines all weak Like thunder

I never learned to drown my demons      They already knew how to swim So I tried to smoke them to silence      Because I forgot they came from hell It's hard Not knowing Who I'll be tomorrow Told my depression is not the "real me" or that they miss their "happy friend" as if I can break some part of me off At least if I crank up the radio too loud they'll just get upset at the noise. But not at me. For being broken in my completeness For having parts that don't work right For being more human  Than my masks Some demon is bitter. Another cruel with his words. Several of them are hopeless But they speak a truth That half of the world isn't right And wrong is hard to accept And pain really exists Regardless of my smile.